


Three years in the life of Remus Lupin

by Whityy93



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Remus Lupin, Break Up, Established Relationship, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sirius Black, Love Confessions, Love Wins, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Mentioned Peter Pettigrew, POV Remus Lupin, Post-Break Up, Professor Albus Dumbledore, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Remus Lupin Lives, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black Lives, Young James Potter, Young Lily Evans - Freeform, Young Love, Young Peter Pettigrew, Young Remus Lupin, Young Sirius Black, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:21:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22516150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whityy93/pseuds/Whityy93
Summary: The POV of Remus John Lupin for three different points in his life.Chapter 1: 1981Chapter 2: 1977Chapter 3: 1995
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 6





	1. 1981

November 1st, 1981

When Remus John Lupin first heard of the tragedy of Lily and James Potters deaths, he was actually at Hogwarts. It was a crisp and cold morning, like you would expect from the first of November. Remus had taken on a job for the order a few months prior, spying on some werewolves who were becoming sympathetic towards the Dark Lord, and had now come to give his report to Dumbledore. Remus hadn’t stopped in Hogsmeade, he had gone right up to see the headmaster, which was why he had no idea what had happened the night before, on Halloween 1981, in Godric’s Hollow.

On his way to Dumbledore’s office, he was smiling, thinking he would finally be able to go and see Lily, James and little Harry again for the first time in months. And, of course, he would get to see Sirius. He flinched at the memory of his lover, they hadn’t gone separate ways on good terms. Some stupid fight about some stupid thing. Sirius had been on edge ever since James and Lily had gone into hiding, feeling robbed of his best mate and constantly feisty because two of his favorite people might be in danger because of You-know-Who. 

But by now it had been months, and Remus had missed his Padfoot terribly. 

However, he felt that he had duties to fulfill for the order and for Dumbledore.

He knocked on the door of the headmaster’s office and entered when a faint voice told him too.

“Remus.”

“Hello Dumbledore. I am here to report on the wolves in the east.”

“What?”, Dumbledore blinked like he had expected Remus to be here for something else. Remus also noticed that the older man was restless and agitated, he moved around the room constantly. For Dumbledore, who was usually as calm as they come, this was very out of character.

“The report you wanted. You sent me to spy on the werewolves...”

“You haven’t heard…”, the gray haired man interrupted Remus.

“What? Heard what?

“There is really no easy way to say this Remus, please take a seat.”

The older pointed to one of the two chairs in front of his desk. Confused, and honestly scared, Remus sat down. Dumbledore took the chair next to him, taking Remus’ hand between his own.

“You’re scaring me, sir.”

“Remus, there was an attack last night. The Dark Lord himself came to Godric’s Hollow. He… He killed Lily and James.”

“Wh-what?”

“I am so sorry for your loss Remus, I know you loved them very much.”

“This can’t be true, Dumbledore, they can’t be gone. I- I don’t…”

Remus felt empty. Two of his best friends. Gone. It couldn’t be true. He looked up from his and Dumbledore’s hand, into the eyes of the old man. And what he saw, made his chest hurt and his heart draw tight. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Dumbledore was telling the truth. Remus felt hot tears on his cold face, leaving hot trails across his cheeks.

“What about… Oh god, not Harry too, please.”

He pulled his hands away from the headmaster’s and buried his face in them, crying breathlessly for his best friends and their little boy.

“Harry survived, Remus, I am going to bring him to his relatives this evening. Hagrid is on his way to Godric’s Hollow in this very moment. The little boy has to grow up protected from the Wizarding World, there will be many people after him. Especially now that everyone knows his name and what he did….”

Remus registered the older man speaking but was too far lost in his feelings to really listen. Lily and James were dead. Harry was alive. Pain and relief co-existed in his head and his heard. His thoughts were racing. There had been a Fidellius charm. Someone had to tell You-Know-Who where the Potter’s were hiding. Someone had betrayed them. 

And he only wanted to do one thing. Find out why Sirius had done that.

November 3rd, 1981

Remus was going on 48 hours without sleep when he finally managed to find who he had been looking for. He had gone to Godric’s hollow first, hoping to find Sirius in the ruins of what had been the Potter house just hours prior. He had walked through what was left of the house he had such fond memories of. 

They had spent Harry’s first Christmas ever in this house, laughing at the little toddler trying to chase Padfoot in his dog form. He and Lily had cooked dozens of meals here in the spacious kitchen, one thing he had always wished for in a house Sirius and him could someday live in.

Remus had not been able to go up the stairs to where Lily’s body had been. He had almost been sick when he entered the corridor and saw the flowers that had been laid down on the wooden floor where James’ body must’ve been. A couple wizards and witches had also laid flowers down outside the house, some were still standing there and watched the house when Remus had finally found the strength to leave it.

He tried Molly’s and Arthur’s place next, then Kingsley’s, and lastly Peter’s place. Sirius was nowhere to be found. So, as a last chance, Remus went to London, to the little flat he and Sirius had shared before Remus had started to go on trips for the Order.

Remus opened the door with the key he still carried with him everywhere. He heard Padfoot’s muffled cries before he saw him. Sirius looked as bad as Remus felt. He was laying on one of the sofas in living room, which smelled like a lot of bottles of firewiskey had been emptied here recently. He had one arm over his eyes and his body was shaking with the effort it took him not to cry out loud.

“Sirius.”

The muffled sounds stopped immediately.

“Moony.” 

Sirius removed his arm from his face and looked at Remus, eyes red and puffy from crying, an empty look on his face.  
Remus was suddenly filled with fury. How dare he? How dare Sirius be so upset about something he had caused? James would have never picked anyone else to be their secret keeper, James and Sirius had been like brothers. Sure, Remus and Peter had been close to James too, but their relationship with him was different. 

“Why, Sirius? Why did you tell him where they were?” Remus spat the words out, anger and disgust in his voice. Sirius looked shocked at the tone in his friend’s voice.

“What?”

“Why did you hand Lily and James over to Voldemort?” Remus could feel his voice crack and he felt like he had screamed his last words, when they actually had been a deathly silent whisper.

“I didn’t”, was all Sirius said while he got off the couch.

“Don’t come any closer, Black.” Remus backed away from his former friend.

“Rem, I didn’t do it. It was Peter. Please let me…”

“PETER? You’re seriously trying to tell me little Wormtail had the balls to go dark side? Are you KIDDING me?” Now he was screaming, screaming out his loss, his hurt and his anger. He couldn' believe thta this man, the man he loved, was lying to him so effordlessly.

“Rem, Peter and I swapped places. You weren’t here, I couldn’t write you...” 

Sirius was still moving towards Moony but was shoved away by Lupin. Sirius landed on the dusty carpet in front of the fireplace. Remus looked down on him, voice now could and sharp as ice.

“I don’t ever want to see you again. I hope they fucking give you the dementor’s kiss. I called the ministry here, they’re going to take you. Goodbye, Black.” 

With a last look at his former friend, Remus left the house. When he was walking into the front yard, he could hear Sirius screaming after him.

“It wasn’t me Moony! PLEASE! I will find Peter and you will see the truth, REMUS PLEASE!”

But Remus did not turn around, he disapparated as soon as he had left the property.


	2. 1977

**26th March 1977**

It was the first really sunny day of the year, and the sixth year students of Gryffindor and Hufflepuff were sitting in the Divination tower, curtains drawn over the windows, air a little too warm to be comfortable. Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and James Potter were sitting in front of a crystal ball, trying to see some kind of futuristic vision.

“It’s no use, really. All I can see is white smoke”, James shook his head and leaned back.

“And I feel like I am looking at a full moon.”

Remus pinched his nose, Divination always gave him headaches, but crystal ball reading was especially difficult for him, because every time he looked at the ball in front of him, his stomach dropped. It felt similar to the nights of the full, a feeling of terror, the premonition of pain during the transformation, the knowledge of what would follow when his body turned back to its human form.

Remus felt a hand on his thigh, squeezing him right above his knee. He did not have to turn his head to know the hand belonged to Sirius. In the last couple months, they had been touching more and more, had been spending more time together. Something between them had changed after the summer.

Sirius ran away from home in the middle of their summer holidays. He had stayed with James for the rest of time until the school year started again and somehow, it was like he had become a little more earnest, but also more open with his feelings. Remus could not really pinpoint why he felt like that, it was just a feeling he had.

Sirius had always been a bit of a playboy. Ever since their third year, he had continuously been dating someone, or even multiple someone’s at the same time. But ever since the summer, he had not been on a date once. James had started snickering about Sirius having to really like a certain someone since he would not accept any invitations to dates. Sirius, who had been drinking some pumpkin juice the first time James made a comment on it, had promptly spat his juice into the face of Wormtail and Sirius’ face had been red for the entirety of breakfast. That was the point when Remus had started to wonder who the person who captured his friend’s heart might be.

But Remus had noticed, with a certain bitterness, Sirius was still being invited on dates quite a lot. In their earlier years, Sirius had dated anyone who asked him or who was good-looking and fun enough so that Sirius himself would ask them. True, they had all been a little awkward when Sirius told them he liked lads as well as girls back in fourth year, but ever since then none of them had ever commented on Sirius’ dating life. Padfoot made it a priority to spend time with his friends, and as long as he didn’t end up with a broken heart, they were all good.

Remus laid his hand on Sirius’ and squeezed it tightly. He smiled at his friend warmly and when Sirius smiled back, Remus hoped and wished that maybe, just maybe, Padfoot liked him as much as Remus liked Padfoot.

**4th April 1977**

Remus was having a bad day. A bloody shitty day, to be exact.

It was the day of the full moon, he had had a headache since he got up in the morning and now James, Sirius and Peter had gotten themselves detention for the entire evening, which meant they would not be able to go to the Shack with him. It would be the first time he would have to spend his transformation all alone since the summer holidays and he was furious at his friends.

He was also quite honestly scared. He had not spent a full moon at Hogwarts without his friends since they became animagi for him. His inner wolf was used to having fresh air and being outside during the moon, because his friends could keep him in check, and it was safe to leave the Shack. Now, he would have to spend the entire night inside, biting and clawing on himself in agony.

He didn’t say goodbye to his friends when they went to their detention after dinner. Instead, Remus went to the common room and grabbed his school bag and filled it with a change of clothes, a big comfortable sweater and a blanket that the houselves laid out for him because he was always cold at night. Then he went down to the entrance hall to meet Madame Pomfrey, who always accompanied him to the Whomping Willow.

Remus was just starting to feel the first signs that his transformation was going to happen soon when he heard a noise that did not come from the wind outside. Someone was coming down the tunnel to the Shack. Remus started panicking, he was going to transform any minute now and then he would be able to hurt or even kill whoever was coming to the house. Remus stood up from the old sofa he had been laying on and went to the door, trying to find something to block it with when he heard a familiar voice.

“Remus?”

“Sirius? What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in detention?”

“Ah, you know me and Slugghorn are somewhat buddies. I told him I had something really important to do and he let me off easy. James and Pete didn’t have that much luck, they have detention with McGonagal, so they’re probably gonna be on it the whole night.”

Sirius shrugged, smiling sheepishly. Remus might have kissed his friend then and there, if it had not been for his spine cracking and his transformation beginning. The last thing Remus saw before the wolf took over was Sirius turning into Padfoot before his eyes and thinking that Sirius had come to be with him.

**5th April 1977**

When Remus woke up, he was warm, comfortable and cozy. His body was still arching like it always did after the transformation, but somehow, he was still quite relaxed. When he tried to move, he heard a grunt behind him and suddenly, he was hyper aware of the arm that was slung around his stomach. His breath hitched when Sirius spoke behind him.

“Do we have to get up yet Moons?” The dark haired boy snuggled closer to him and Remus could feel Sirius’ breath in the nape of his neck. The feeling of having his friend so close drove Remus’ blood straight to his lower regions and he was promptly sporting an impressive erection.

This would have been fine under normal circumstances, when you lived with three other boys for at least nine months a year, you got really good at hiding erections. The problem was, Remus always destroyed his clothes when he turned, which meant when he turned back, he was always naked.

On a normal full, James would have been the first to turn back and, while Sirius and Peter turned back into their human forms, James would help Remus to put on something, to save his dignity. It wasn’t like his friends had never seen him naked, but he was very vulnerable after the full moon and preferred to be covered. But James was not with them this time. This time, it was only Remus and Sirius.

And Sirius, who had never had a problem with his own nudity, was also sporting an erection that Remus could feel against his bum quite clearly.

Remus cleared his throat, removed Sirius’ arm from his torso and turned around to his friend, intentionally increasing the distance between them and pulling the blanket up so that he was mostly covered by it. Luckily, the bed they were on was big enough to normally fit all of the four Marauders. Sirius looked up at him through dark lashes and sleep rumpled hair. The blanket was only covering part of his belly and his hips and legs. He probably looked good enough to eat, but Remus was to flustered to notice.

“Morning Moons. Slept well?”

“Why are we cuddling naked Pads?”, Remus asked with a slight shake to his voice.

“We were both to tired to put on clothes this morning when we got back. Turns out keeping you in check is not as easy when I’m alone. And you were shivering in your sleep, so…”

“Oh. Okay then. Would you mind turning around? I want to find my bag and put on some clothes.”

“Don’t you wanna sleep some more? It’s not just after dawn and we don’t have to be in the castle until lunch.”

“Maybe after I put some clothes on. Pads, please.”

Remus could feel his anxiety creeping up on him and thankfully, Sirius seemed to feel the urgency as well. He turned around with a gentle smile and Remus got up to put some clothes on in the bathroom of the Shack. When he returned to the bedroom, Sirius had put on a pair of pants and a shirt as well. He was lounging on the bed and reading in a book he had brought last night.

Remus got back into bed and scooted close to his friend, now way more comfortable.

“Sorry Padfoot.” Sirius looked at him, smiling slightly.

“What are you sorry for? I was the one with the hard on, sorry for making you uncomfortable. I am not really used to having a body next to me in bed.”

“You and me both. You were not the only one with that… problem”, Remus said, blushing furiously and not looking Sirius in the eye.

“Oh…” Now it was Sirius’ turn to blush. There was a long silence between the two friends, until Sirius decided to say something.

“Hey Moons? Do you fancy anyone? Like, right now?”

Remus’ head snapped around, looking the dark haired boy directly in the eyes. The look Sirius gave him was sincere, but also very vulnerable.

“I… I mean… Yeah, I kinda do Pads.”

“Who is it?”

Remus chuckled softly.

“As if you can’t tell.”

“I want you to tell me. Please, Remus.”

Sirius lifted his hand and placed it on Remus cheek. His voice sounded rough and desperate when he talked next.

“I need you to tell me Remus. I just- I can’t tell if… If what I wanna do to you is okay with you. Please, just say something, anything.”

Remus looked into the eyes of his friend and registered what Sirius had just said. And he only had one answer in mind.

“Yes.”

As soon as Remus had said it, Sirius’ lips were on his and Remus was feeling high. Their soft lips moved against each other in a soft kiss. It didn’t last long, but it was full of emotions and cleared what had been hanging between them totally. When they separated, they took a minute just to gaze into each other’s eyes and smile.

“God I’ve wanted to do that for so bloody long”, Sirius laughed.

“Took you long enough”, Remus smiled at him.

“Me? You knew I am bi, you could’ve said something! It wasn’t that hard to guess I fancy you. I didn’t even know you fancy guys.”

“I don’t.”

“What?”

Remus grinned and kissed Sirius on the cheek.

“I don’t fancy guys. I just fancy the hell out of you”, he whispered into Sirius’ ear.

“Good thing I like taking the initiative then?” “Very good thing indeed. So…What are you reading?”

“Some muggle book Evans lent me. Want me to read to you so you can fall asleep?”

“Please.”

Remus scooted back to lay his head on the pillow, but Sirius pulled Remus towards him and laid his head into his lap. He stroked Remus’ curls and started reading. Remus smiled and closed his eyes.

**14th June 1977**

The rest of the school year turned out to be the best year Remus had ever had. Dating Sirius was actually not that much different from being his friend, it just had the added extra of getting cuddles and kisses from him. And Remus enjoyed that little extra very much, especially on hot summer days like this.

The four Marauders had finished their exam in History of Magic the previous day and were now sitting under a tree near the black lake and revising for their last exam, Potions, that would take place the following Thursday.

Peter was lying on his stomach in the grass and had his notes sprawled out all around him. As usual, he was the one who was really worried about passing the exam. James and Sirius were naturally gifted and almost never had to study, and Remus had started studying weeks ago and therefor was very well prepared. James was sitting a little offside of his friends and was actually having a conversation with Lilly Evans about some problem with potions. Though they were having a discussing, they were sitting close to each other and changed glances that Remus definitely interpreted as flirting.

Remus himself was leaning against the old tree and read a book while Sirius was pretending to sleep with his head in Remus’ lap.

“So, what are you gonna do about this summer Pads?”

“What do you mean? I’m going to James’. We all are.”

Sirius opened his eyes and looked up at his boyfriend, smiling. He took Remus’ hand in his and stroked the small scars on the back of his hand.

“We are?”, Remus looked at his lover, obviously confused. He couldn’t spend his whole summer at the Potters house, it was not safe during the full moons. Sirius sat up and turned to Remus, still smiling. He stole a quick kiss from Remus before he continued talking.

“It’s all figured out. I even wrote a letter to your parents. And if we’re all together, you do no need to worry about the full. Even Peter’s mom allowed him to come, It’s our last summer, after all.”

He leaned closer and whispered into Remus’ ear.

“And I do not plan to spend one minute without you. Especially not if we can have our own room in James’ house.”

"What, are you gonna cuddle me naked again?", Remus laughed.

"You bet on it!", Sirius grinned and kissed his boyfriend.


End file.
